Optometrists are good at keeping an eye on us. Proctologist, despite warm handshakes and friendly smiles, can be a real pain in the ass. Guys; always know your Urologist on a first name basis if he plans on doing a prostate exam. Most neurologists I have known have way too much fun testing us with pins and needles! Seismologists like to shake things up. Radiologists seldom use Buck Rogers like ray guns pointing out things lurking in the darkest of shadows on a wet fresh x-ray. A gastroenterologist can digest the facts about what we do or do not digest with hearty ho, ho, ho’s after eyeing our squishy insides and outs! Psychiatrists know our life story endings long before we start telling them about our beginnings and we all wish they would tell us those answers without us having to go around the board of life paying them rather than collecting two hundred dollars for ourselves! Pathologists get on the right path to what ails us by making a little withdrawal from our blood bank. Oncologists are the kind of guys you would rather have to call for information rather than have them call you with a report they are not happy about. Hematologists are vampires in disguise who hire little minions adorned in white lab coats flashing pretty smiles to assure us that this will not hurt a bit if we only look the other way! Gynecologists are friendly enough until they get out their scopes and start looking for their lost jewelry! Dermatologists use bright lights to illuminate your skin as they look for flabby moles hiding underneath skin folds that used to be delicious Carl’s junior hamburgers. Allergists are no one to sneeze at. A cardiologist has a lot of heart. Virologists go viral everyday.